Couples Therapy Massachusetts: Love Lost in Translation?
Couple reconnecting through online couples therapy in Massachusetts
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m doing everything I can. Why doesn’t my partner feel loved?” Or maybe you’ve felt unloved yourself, even though your partner insists they’re trying. If so, you might be speaking different love languages and not even know it.
This disconnect is incredibly common and something I work with all the time in couples therapy in Massachusetts, especially when one partner says “I do everything!” and the other says “I just don’t feel connected.” Let’s talk about why that happens and what you can do about it.
What Is a Love Language?
A love language is simply the way you naturally express and receive love. It's how you show someone you care and how you recognize when someone loves you.
For some people, it’s saying “I love you.” For others, it’s doing the dishes without being asked. Love languages can vary from person to person, and even within families.
I Grew Up With Acts of Service as a Love Language
In my family growing up, acts of service was a dominant love language. I remember being a little girl and noticing when my mom had a hard day. I’d clean the bathroom, not because she asked, but because I knew it would mean something to her. In return, she might say “thank you” or give me a hug, words of affirmation and physical touch, adding to the emotional exchange.
Later in life, when I bought my first home, my parents would show love by helping with house projects. My dad would ask, “What needs to be fixed?” That was one of our love languages, doing for each other.
Even now, I see how I continue that pattern. I show love to my family by checking off to-do lists, picking up the slack, and making life a little easier for everyone.
When Your Partner Doesn’t Speak the Same Love Language
Here’s where things can get tricky: your partner or your kids may have a different primary love language.
That means the loving things you’re doing might not register for them as love. And vice versa.
Let’s say your love language is acts of service, and you:
Mow the lawn
Do the laundry
Make the kids’ lunches
Get the oil changed in your partner’s car
To you, that’s love in action.
But if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation or quality time, they may still feel unseen or unloved, because they’re waiting to hear “I love you” or craving a quiet moment together over coffee.
When love is expressed in a way that the other person doesn’t easily recognize, it can create:
Distance
Misunderstandings
Loneliness
Resentment
And often, both people end up feeling like they’re giving more than they’re receiving.
Most of Us Give Love the Way We Want to Receive It
This is a natural thing we all do. If your love language is physical touch, you might reach for your partner’s hand or cuddle on the couch. If theirs is gifts, they might be quietly wishing you’d bring home their favorite snack or surprise them with a little note.
The key is noticing the mismatch and learning how to stretch yourself to speak your partner’s language, too.
This Is the Kind of Work We Do in Couples Therapy Massachusetts
In my work with couples across Massachusetts (often via online couples therapy), this love language mismatch shows up again and again. And it’s not because the couple is “broken”, it’s because they’re simply not speaking the same emotional language.
Here’s what we do together:
Identify each person’s primary love language
Explore what isn’t landing emotionally and why
Practice how to express love intentionally in ways your partner will truly feel
Build emotional fluency and understanding, even if it feels awkward at first
Sometimes this process feels a little clunky at the beginning. It’s not your natural default, so it takes effort. But just like learning a second language, it gets easier over time and the payoff is real. More connection. More safety. More feeling like you’re on the same team.
You Don’t Have to Guess. There’s a Quiz!
If you want to explore this further on your own, I recommend reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He outlines each love language in detail and offers a quiz at the end to help you identify your dominant and secondary styles.
Taking the quiz together as a couple can be eye-opening. It might even explain why you’ve been feeling stuck and how you can start to shift your connection.
Want Support? Couples Therapy in Massachusetts Can Help
If you're tired of feeling like you're both giving 100% but still missing each other, you're not alone, and you're not doing anything wrong. You may just be speaking two different emotional languages without a translator.
Meghan C. Foucher, LICSW at Couples Therapy Massachusetts
In online couples therapy, I help couples across Massachusetts reconnect, communicate more effectively, and feel more seen and appreciated by their partner. We'll work together to understand the patterns you're caught in and create new ones that feel better for both of you.
Ready to feel more connected?
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today and let’s talk about what’s going on in your relationship. You deserve support—and love that feels like love.
